Friday, May 26, 2006

Think the Unthinkable

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 22) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,"Boy. What is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office.
While the boy waited in the out of the office, the teacher explained to the Principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed.
Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and boy both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy, aft! er a moment "Legs."
Ms Neelam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? (The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, boy was taking charge)
Boy: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Boy: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a! stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with! a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use your hand.
Boy: Fork
Ms Neelam: hat is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married? Boy: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is > responsible for making love?
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said > to the teacher, "Send this Boy to Delhi University , I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

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